High-functioning autism is a paradox—struggling with emotions, social cues, and sensory overload while being “smart enough” to mask it. Many never realize they need help, believing their struggles are personal failures. Years pass in silent exhaustion, misread and misunderstood. But the truth is, they were never broken—just navigating a world that never showed them who they truly are. Understanding that is the first step to truly existing.

Love feels like this deep, mysterious thing, but your brain is actually running a complex process behind the scenes. From past memories to subconscious preferences, it’s constantly figuring out what (and who) you’re drawn to. Relationships aren’t just about compatibility, they’re about two minds learning each other over time. And honestly, that makes love even more fascinating.

I used to get frustrated by the world’s chaos—people making the same mistakes, society’s expectations, and the noise that felt impossible to escape. But I’ve realized the noise isn’t something to block or fight. It’s part of life. This is my reflection on embracing the absurdity around me, accepting what I can’t control, and finding authenticity in the middle of it all.

Life doesn’t promise anything…your job, your health, even your relationships. We hope things will work out, but hope can feel fragile, and not everyone is wired for it. Wonder, though, is different. It’s about asking questions, staying curious, and digging deeper…even when the answers aren’t clear. Wonder doesn’t rely on guarantees; it thrives in uncertainty and drives us to explore and grow, making it stronger and more real than hope.

I’ve spent years untangling my perfectionism, how it pushes me forward but also holds me back. In this blog, I share my journey through the Dabrowski’s five levels of perfectionism, the struggles, the lessons, and how I’m learning to turn it into a force for growth and peace. If you’ve ever felt the weight of ‘not good enough,’ this is for you.

This blog explores my challenge in understanding emotions. I compare it to Leonardo da Vinci’s scientific approach. Despite feeling emotions, my analytical brain often takes over, making it hard to grasp them fully. Yet, I remain hopeful. Like Leonardo’s quest for truth, I trust in the brain’s ability to learn. With time, I hope to better understand emotions and find inner peace.