Sheer Khurma: An Atheist’s Perspective on Eid

I am so-called an atheist. But luckily, I have a Muslim household. Lucky, because there are only two celebrations in the entire year. So I don’t have to tackle much awkwardness when someone comes to my home. I don’t like Eid because there are just too many people involved, many social interactions, and I hate people! Plus, I don’t like the looks people give me when I tell them “I’m non-religious” straight to their faces.

But I love one thing about it. It’s the evening before Eid. It’s when my mum pulls out the big guns and starts preparing Sheer Khurma! It’s the only time when I’m allowed in the kitchen; otherwise, I would annoy her by asking a million questions. It’s the time when you see the color shift, from the white, glowy coconut milk to the rich yellow, fully spiced golden drink! I don’t even like it that much, but I like the transformation!

So the process goes like this: you have to first filter out the water which has been subjected to spices. Then you have to mix it up, boil it up, and then stir it until it’s all mixed together. It sounds too simple but its not, absolutely not. My mum makes a rather difficult version of Sheer Khurma, and you can taste her efforts!  (I’m not blinded by love). It takes entirely 6-8 hours to boil it properly, but the “pre-processing” goes on for days before that.

I’ve helped her do these things since I was a child. As a kid, I used to like the color change; as an adult kid, I like to see thermodynamics play its role (spices in the water changing boiling temperatures, tell me it’s not exciting 🤓). But since I’ve been wandering into the “fifth” dimension of the world, the emotions, this experience has opened a whole new world to explore for me. I missed this few years in the middle when I was not home (in a hostel!).

This might sound too raw to some, because not many are as emotionally illiterate as me, but the mother-son bond is too complicated at times. We are different genders, we have different experiences, we are in different age groups, so there’s really not a lot to bond over (I mean other than motherly love). So such activities are the few places where we can bond. I help her do these things, she smiles. I try to keep my mouth shut and just look, she gets amazed. I like to keep everything clean (that’s just me), I can literally see the satisfaction in her eyes…

Not everything shiny is good. Not every relationship is stable. I have had struggles of my own, but ultimately what matters is how much we understand each other. It all depends on how long you can stir it to make it sweeter.

I’m not romanticising relationships; I still love color change more than other things, but I am an atheist and I like Eid because that’s the only day I get to be a child of a mother.