Radical Self-confrontation & Self-awareness Trigger

Don’t read this if you are in a good mood. Because this is going to hurt.

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Aren’t you a loser? Care to disagree? Let me say it in the most clichéd way possible.

About Your “External Self”

You don’t have millions of dollars to buy the car you like. Don’t even have enough to buy the super-bike you fantasize about. You don’t have the guts to tell your parents about your partner…or that you want to marry them. You live in a rented house, or with your parents. And even if you “buy” a house, it’ll be on a loan that’ll suck your soul for the next twenty years.

You can’t afford to eat at a five-star hotel once a month without guilt. Most of you haven’t left the country, haven’t spoken to people who don’t look, think, or sound like you. Never talked to a human who doesn’t speak your language, who doesn’t look like you, feel like you. You eat the same three types of food your city offers and call yourself a food lover. You don’t have the courage to quit your dead job and start what you really want to do.

You’ve never felt small in a place you couldn’t comprehend! You wake up, you work, you scroll, and you call it a life!

About Your “Good Heart”

You think having a “good heart” makes up for the lack of everything else. That somehow that’s enough. But that’s just your cover story. As if purity counts for something when you can’t even be honest with yourself. You’re not kind. You’re just too careful. You’re scared. You’ve never been tested. You’ve never held the power to hurt someone and still chosen not to. You think you’re humble, but really, you’re just scared to want too much. You think you’re wise, but truth is…you’ve just stopped trying, stopped jiggling. Scared to admit your thoughts aren’t always noble. You pretend you’re “kind,” but you’re just spineless. So you don’t have a good heart. You’re just scared to admit your darkness, the core of your own self.

You stay quiet not because you’ve found peace, but because you don’t want to say something that’ll make others uncomfortable. You stay in your lane, not out of grace, but out of fear.

Your “Big Dreams and Desires”

You don’t talk about your dreams, not because you don’t have them, but because saying them out loud will make you accountable. So you pretend you’re “content.” You fake peace. You shrink on purpose. You say you’re spiritual but you’re just numb. You meditate to escape, not to understand. You journal just enough to feel productive, but never enough to actually face yourself. You light a candle and think it makes you aware. You call it healing, but you never bled.

You post filtered photos with beautiful captions. You quote dead philosophers whose books you’ve never read. You say you’re working on yourself, but you’ve never stayed still long enough to even notice who that “self” is. You talk about healing but never confront shit. You meditate just enough to keep the panic away, not to figure yourself out. You hate people but want them to love you. You beg for validation from the same world you secretly despise.

You’re scared of silence. Scared of stillness. Because deep down, you know….if everything goes quiet, what’s left will shake you. So you keep running! Not forward, not backward. Just running!

Your “Resilience”

But you say you’re resilient. No. You’re just distracted. You think “consistency” means living the same miserable day for thirty years. You call it “trying,” but you’ve just mastered the art of coping. You call it love, but you keep one foot out. You say you care, but only when it costs you nothing. You call it loyalty, but it’s just dependency. You call it morals, but deep down, you’re just afraid of being judged.

Your “Adulthood and Money”

Your money is imaginary…just few floating numbers in a bank app. You don’t own anything. You don’t grow your food. Can’t fix a leaking tap. Can’t sit without a screen for five hours without losing your mind. You’ve outsourced everything!…your hunger, your joy, your attention! You call yourself independent, but your entire nervous system depends on notifications. That one ting sound. You can’t even feel it unless someone replies.

You scroll through reels all day. You laugh. Then forget. You envy people you’ll never meet. You screenshot quotes, save them, and never return. You “like” strangers and ignore your own people. You eat with one hand and scroll with the other. You call that routine. You call that adulthood. You call that life.

But let’s be honest. You didn’t earn this life. You didn’t choose it. You’re here because two people exchanged fluids one night. That’s it. You built your entire identity on top of that biological event. You romanticised it. You called it fate. You added some goals to it… a playlist, a to-do list! But underneath it all…you’re just here. Floating. Existing. Trying to matter.

Now Don’t Lie

But now you know the truth, after got beaten you know, you are not special. You’re not chosen. Even if you get it all…fame, money, sex, love, peace…the universe won’t give a damn. The stars won’t move. The earth won’t shift. The sky won’t change its colour. Because you’re not the centre of anything. You’re just one more speck. A temporary ripple pretending to be a wave.

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So ask yourself,
Why the fuck are you living?

Why are you breathing like it means something, when you’ve never even stopped to ask what “something” is? Why are you wasting this planet’s resources like you’re owed something? Why are you acting like your presence is meaningful, when you haven’t even figured out what you are?

You think you matter? Then why do you matter? What do you care about?

And this time…
Don’t lie.

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Sorry, and take care!