This Girl Escaped North Korea in order to live

I read this book when I was a little worried about the increasing intolerance in India (Especially, in recent times). Although I won’t consider it is directly related, but, this book will help you if you are worried about (or affected by) social imbalance/ injustice. Her story will teach you that whatever we are suffering, be it related to our own personal life or the whole as a society, is way easier to solve than we might think. She is Yeonmi Park who escaped North Korea in order to live.

Her journey taught me that the struggles we face—whether personal or societal—might be easier to overcome than we think. I’m not easily impressed, but this story left a mark on me. It might just do the same for you.

You can leave this site now if you are already motivated to read about her.

Read the book (affiliated):

Here’s a short version of her story…

There’s always hope

In the first part, Yeonmi Park paints a stark picture of her childhood in North Korea. She recounts the Great Famine of the late ’90s—a disaster that claimed over 3 million lives. Death was so common that seeing bodies on the streets was just another day. A wall of corpses became the backdrop of their reality. Despite being from an upper-middle-class family, their lives lacked even the basic comforts we take for granted. Electricity was a rare luxury, and having two meals a day was a mark of wealth.

The Great Famine

After her father was arrested for running an illegal business, Yeonmi, her sister, and their mother were left alone. As you read, you’ll understand why her father had to break the law—survival depended on it. After his arrest, hunger took over their lives. She describes catching rats and dragonflies to eat, doing whatever it took to stay alive. Her school even made kids collect human waste to sell as fertilizer. And remember, this all happened when Yeonmi was under ten years old. For any child, this would be a nightmare.

The realisation

This part of the story is about realization. North Koreans have no access to the outside world. They don’t know what’s beyond their country, with no internet or outside information. The regime has brainwashed people for generations, making them believe that their leaders are gods, their country is a paradise, and their suffering is justified. Little kids, like Yeonmi, are deeply influenced by this. She was too.

But even as a young child, with a curious mind, she began to see through it. This is something we all go through—growing up, we’re told what life is and why things are the way they are. The difference for her was that she started questioning everything in her early teens. That must have been incredibly intense.

Even if it’s hard, there’s always hope

Even though she had one of the hardest life one can imagine as a child, she still managed to keep that flame of hope alive, that alone is a great thing to hone. From her being acute observant, thinking beyond the radicalised thoughts, building her own opinions in a country where individuality doesn’t exist, to the determination of leaving the place! It is a nerve-racking experience on its own. Even if it’s hard, there’s always hope.

Life is a gift

She leaves for China with her mother (in search of her lost sister, I won’t write those details here). You can imagine what can happen to a woman and a little girl, alone in a foreign land. Her mother gets raped in front of her on the street on the first day of moving to China, that’s not even the worst part, her mother gave herself to protect her from the rapist. Her age, early teens. She didn’t even have an idea of what was happening. She and her mother get sold for less than a few hundred dollars, to two different families. As she stays with her seller (reseller) she becomes her maid. I won’t spill those details here.

Worse is better than worst

Shockingly, Yeonmi says life in China was still better than in North Korea because at least she got a proper meal every day. Despite her dire personal situation, she experienced freedom for the first time. She describes learning how to use bathroom soap and shampoo—things that were luxuries in North Korea. She was amazed by restaurants full of food and seeing cars on the street, all things she had never experienced before. This part is bittersweet. While we hear about her mental and physical suffering, we also find a bit of joy in her newfound freedom.

As she grows up in China, she embraces this freedom and starts to control life for the first time. She starts to make some money. She fights back to rejoin her mother. We see a young Yeonmi fighting to make a living. If the first part was about realising their surroundings, this part is about realising her being a human! An independent thinker, who wants to take charge of her own life.

Cost of freedom

Yeonmi left North Korea for freedom, but it came with severe mental and physical harassment. Let me emphasize—she was just 13 when all this happened. Yet, she never lost hope. Taking control of her life at such a young age is truly inspiring. We live in a protected society, where we don’t let our kids handle much until they’re “mature.” But life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Most of us only start learning that when we step into the real world in our late teens or early twenties, and by then, it might be too late. Life is a gift, and no matter how tough it gets, you have to fight for it.

Learn for freedom

In search of freedom, Yeonmi and her mother walked across the desert to reach Mongolia, where they were taken in by Christian missionaries. They eventually found a way into South Korean refugee camps. This part of her story is about finding stability.

At the refugee camps, they had to learn basic skills from scratch—reading, writing, and everything that makes you think. Yeonmi realized how much she lacked in education. In North Korea, kids don’t learn science, math, or other subjects. They only study history, filled with glorified stories of their country’s past. So, she had to learn how to learn. (That part really got me excited.) She was probably a clever kid in the camp, but that didn’t mean she was ready for real-world schools. She still had a lot of catching up to do. We see her facing discrimination from South Koreans, struggling with being illiterate and physically weak.

Gaining the ability to think

Similar to any other story, the only way out is by getting an education. So she aspires to get into university. It’s a Pandora’s box when you suddenly learn how to read. She reads many historical books, classic novels, philosophies and a lot more. She learns about autocracies in North Korea and how she was brainwashed by the regime. Many dogmas get broken, and many beliefs get changed. She learns the language of thinking and we can see her describing that as it happens.

When you have more words to describe the world, you increase your ability to think complex thoughts.

After years of suffering, she unites with her mother and sister again. She gets into a prestigious university. There we see an end of life long struggle, age: still under 20.

Why you should read In Order to Live

There’s so much more to uncover in this book, but here’s my conclusion…

We often blame ourselves, our surroundings, and those around us—our parents, teachers, and support systems—for our tough lives. But our problems, while significant to us, rarely impact others on the same scale. Many of us live in a bubble as kids, which bursts when we start earning our own money. In the rush to settle down, make a living, and figure out the world, we sometimes forget about those enduring far greater hardships.

This story pushes us to look beyond our own bubbles, to appreciate our freedom, and to embrace our curiosity. I’d recommend this book to anyone who can read this sentence.

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Thanks for reading!