Father’s Day for those who don’t have a father…  

Most of my friends (or the people I interact with) have either lost their father or their father was physically and/or emotionally absent. And I always wondered why…

I think there’s a common pattern among those who have no fathers, something I get inspired from or maybe get attracted to. Here are my observations:

1. A fatherless son or daughter always wants to prove themselves to the world, to show that they are brave.
2. Indian fatherhood is complicated, so a fatherless child always feels a bit more free than those with a father (especially in terms of choosing life options).
3. I rarely have conversations about someone’s death (you know how awkward I am), but seeing your father’s death has an extreme psychological impact. Simply put, your pain receptors are tested to the limit, making them tougher afterward.
4. For girls, fatherhood is a bit more emotional. I have seen girls without a “father figure” in their life, how they have messed up their life. This has everything to do with fake feminism (add Instagram to that). But I have some great female friends who take care of me and other males like a child sometimes (literally), and it has everything to do with a lack of masculine compassion.
5. For boys, there’s a ton of research on how severely damaged boys can get. They continue to struggle with manhood and masculinity for the rest of their lives. Ironically, this can only be cured by a woman’s touch (I’m talking scientifically). A big brother or mature friends can teach a boy to be a man. So if you have one, never let him go.

Even if it doesn’t make sense to you, here’s one more scientific fact I live by: your memory sucks. It makes your past look at least ten times better than it actually was. For example, with your ex-girlfriend, she might have messed with your mind every day, but you still remember those “small moments” with her. By the way, I’m not saying your father was bad and your memories are false; I’m simply saying there’s a big chance it wasn’t that beautiful.

As a son, I know how complicated the father-son relationship can get. As a man, maybe a fertile man, I know there’s a chance I can be someone’s father. But with all this complexity (and who would not want to marry, lol), I don’t want to. Fatherhood should be given only to those who truly deserve it (and I don’t think everyone deserves it). If you had such a father, happy Father’s Day to you!