“Drive My Car”: A movie about love and disconnect

He walks into his apartment and sees his wife cheating on him with someone else. She’s physically engaged with the guy. He sees them in the reflection in the mirror. It’s not clear who he is; maybe that guy is from her workplace, we don’t know. But something strange happens. He doesn’t burst with rage. He doesn’t even react. He stops there for a moment and leaves without any sign of anger on his face. But yeah, we can feel it from his body language that he is angry. He accepts it, as if it was meant to happen. The story moves on; he chats with her just a few hours later, just like it’s a normal day. Without letting her know that he knows. Maybe she knows too, that he knows, we don’t know!

Many questions arise, but fundamentally, why didn’t he react? Why didn’t he burst into anger in his own house?

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“Drive My Car” is the most beautiful movie I’ve seen in the last few months. It addresses something that we seldom see in ourselves, or rather, are afraid to acknowledge. It goes into those dark alleys that are often absent in mainstream movies.

We love, we care, we mess up, we fight… all of that is true. But do we ever live beyond those feelings? Do we ever fully understand others? Do we ever admit that we don’t understand others and be okay with it? Heck, is it even possible to understand someone? Is that the goal? Why can’t we just sit tight and see the world from a wider perspective? accept everything as it is?

Most people don’t, because it’s easy to avoid going into that part of life where we’re alone and feelings are raw and messy. Where reality is fully present. Sometimes, you can’t rely solely on your brain to understand things. Sometimes it’s better to just make assumptions and accept them as they are. It’s sometimes better to accept the world as it is and remain emotionally detached, patiently observing it. It’s better to watch the world go by without disturbing it, yet without feeling guilty for not actively participating in it.

With the increasing external expectations and the standards we impose on ourselves due to societal pressures, we’ve lost touch with the essence of life. It’s important to occasionally sit with ourselves and view things from a broader perspective. We must nurture that aspect of ourselves that lacks words to express its needs.

People are too complex; you can’t understand them. For every decision and every move they make, there are billions of reasons that are unknown to us. The mind has a subconscious which is untapped by any philosophy or science. So don’t even try. But that also means we ourselves are complex. It takes an entire lifetime to resolve and understand these hidden emotions. So let’s be a little brave and admit them as they are, not getting bothered by anything else.

The first thing is to accept life as it is. Accept yourself as you are. Don’t feel guilty even when you have messed up things. Don’t get too low or too high for something you are not part of. You are alone in the end. Life is pointless. You came here alone and you are going to die alone. Yes, even your lover will leave your hand when they bury/cremate you. So admit that you have the sole responsibility. Whatever happens here is because of you and not because of anything else. Acknowledge that you are complex and need time to explain and understand.

Time will never stop for anyone. Maybe your own lover is too complex to understand. She used to cheat on him, and he knew, but he learns to accept her. To not get too caught up in her love for him. He knew that her love for him was more than that. He regrets it when she dies. That he couldn’t face his anger towards her. He learns to let someone else drive his car. To not hold onto things. To let it all happen and not control anything. But still, he learns to stay still. “It will be okay,” he learns to live a life with all its rawness and all it’s complexities.

Obviously, this is not a movie review. I am emotionally not that mature of a person because I fail to understand my own emotions. But what this movie has taught me is to be fine with it. That there’s always going to be something or someone I won’t understand fully. So, I don’t need to take anything personally. I need to let it all go; curiosity has its dark side, which is often not discussed. But we can cope with that by just accepting everything as it is. “It will be okay.”

PS: I would suggest you to watch the full movie; it’s a 3-hour masterpiece. Also, it was an Oscar nominee in 2022 for Best Picture, Best International Feature Film, Best Adapted Screenplay, and Best Director. It is based on “Drive My Car” and “Men without Women,” short stories by Haruki Murakami, and is rated 18+.

Worth watching/reading:

1. Drive My Car Trailer
2. Beautiful explanation by this guy
3. Norwegian woods by Haruki Murakami (Novel)
4. Men Without Women by Haruki Murakami (short story/Novella)

Thanks for reading! Take care 🙂