A silent Diwali: Dealing with loneliness during festivals

A firecracker’s just a quick chemical trick…a pop, a crack, a flash of colour if you’re lucky. It all unfolds in an instant, just long enough to break the dark with noise and light, and then it’s gone. But for some reason, people love it. Kids stare, wide-eyed and captivated, excited… Adults, too, break into these stretched up smiles, like a kid inside them has lighten up! It’s this brief hit of happiness, here one second, gone the next, yet somehow it lingers longer than those milliseconds it took to vanish. People look forward to that flicker all year, that short, bright instant they know they won’t see again for a while. During Diwali, for those who are alone, these moments can be even more poignant.

I stand a little apart, watching the light flicker across their faces, feeling… distant. It’s not that I dislike it; there’s something endearing about the firecrackers breaking the night’s quiet. But it doesn’t seem to reach me the way it reaches them. I watch the colors fade and think of it as it is…a brief trick, a burst that doesn’t hold much weight. I can’t seem to make it into something more. And yet, as I see their faces, glowing with shared wonder, my own solitude softens. For those who feel alone, Diwali can still offer moments of quiet reflection, even a kind of gentle joy. There’s something about how people gather for these small, fleeting moments, as if they’re holding onto something that lasts.

And I can’t help but wonder if maybe I missed something…some ticket to that kind of joy. Maybe the way people gather around these moments, so easily and naturally, is a kind of luck. Something most don’t even realize they have because it’s just there, a quiet part of them. They get to feel it without having to look for it.

I know I’m not alone in this feeling…this sense of watching from the edges. I know there must be others who, even standing in the middle of it all, still feel just a little distant. But there aren’t many who are willing to say it out loud. And even fewer who’d want to accept it. Maybe that’s just another chemical trick too…a reaction that stretches itself out. Still, I wonder if maybe it doesn’t matter whether it’s long or short, if maybe it’s only about being here, in the glow of it all. Maybe the value is just in the act of showing up, of sharing this ordinary, transient thing…even if it’s just a pop in the dark, here and then gone.

Ultimately, life, too, is a kind of chemical reaction, just one that lingers longer than a firecracker. Sometimes, it’s enough to simply observe, even if you don’t feel a spark. People often feel lonely not because they’re alone, but because they feel misunderstood. Diwali, with its light breaking through the darkness, stands as a reminder of hope. Maybe it’s worth trying, just a little, to help others see who you are. Life is brief, and in the end, few things hold as much weight as we think. Sometimes, it’s okay to go along with it all, even if it’s just to find a bit of peace in the glow.

If you are dealing with some intense feelings, please take a professional help. This blog is just for the literary musings. This might help.

Inspired by Dr House, Mr Robot and Rustin Cohle (True detective S1) (and many other books I’ve read recently)

Take care and thanks for reading 🙂